On A Personal Note...

I don't think I ever really write anything about myself. Today I want to share with you an area I am asking God to sharpen in me.  I need God and am believing for Him to equip me to believe in myself. 

I have enough self esteem to fool people most of the time, but never enough to fool myself any of the time.  What I mean is that lately I find self doubt a part of my thoughts more that I find self assurance.  This was once something I struggled with in childhood and I'm not entirely sure I've gotten over it.  As a matter of fact, I know I haven't.  I'm not talking about the kind of self esteem that gages how cute I am or if a boy thinks I'm worth talking to. That I have no problem with, and... well...that husband of mine is stuck with me!   I'm talking about the kind of self esteem that accepts I'm nothing apart from Christ, but also knows I'm everything in Him because of Him. I know that He didn't save me to leave me and forget about me and every situation that I will ever face.  But I find myself feeing unworthy and sometimes even helpless because of history.  On top of this comes guilt, because I know better.  I know that God loves me.  I know He has a plan for me.  I know it's not me that makes me worthy, but the grace and mercy that He gives me freely. 

So why can't I get it together?  Because sometimes even I;  the person that takes care of everyone else, that prays for others, that's always discarded until somebody wants a word from God; needs to be encouraged and reminded that God's grace is sufficient and that it's okay for me to matter.  Also, that every promise that God has made to me will come to pass.  I also need to be reminded that Satan wants to bring me down and ruin the relationship that I have with God.  But, I'm also reminded that he's a liar and a thief.  God has the final say and He's there to help his children along the way.  He won't even suffer one of us to be lost. (Thank you Jesus)

I thank God right now for this.  I wasn't sure what I was writing when I opened my computer, but I see now that God wanted to minister to me.  I needed to be able to see what He has been speaking so clearly in my ear.  I do believe that God has great things for me, my family, and my ministry.  I also know that if I can hold on a little longer it will come to pass.  If anyone reading this finds themselves attacked on every side, finds that the old things that used to plague you have shown back up from out of nowhere, I encourage you to take it to God in prayer right now.  Remember that the bible calls Satan a worthy adversary, because he plays dirty and he will do everything to deceive you and have you focused on the wrong thing.  Just remember to always enquire of the Father and He will direct your paths.  Tell the enemy, no way, he's a liar, and you refuse to play his dirty games.  Start to call out the promises of God in your life, speak life, health, favor, and blessings over yourself daily. Believe that you are as precious as God says you are.  That you matter to Him, so you better start mattering to yourself .  Know that there is nothing wrong with knowing who you are and whose you are.  You are a better person for it.   This advice I write is to myself first.  And I plan to walk in it right this moment!

After writing this I feel so encouraged to run on in the faith,  I hope you do too!

~God Bless U